Looking Back

I'm finding it hard to believe, but this June marks the 10 year anniversary of my graduation from high school. I'm finding it hard to believe mostly because for the most part high school seems so long ago. I have changed a lot. I am sure most of us have (and I am looking forward to our reunion party to test that theory!). Because of this upcoming milestone, I've been thinking a lot lately of the old "glory days" of high-school. I was lucky in that the experience for me, as a whole, was a positive one. I know that not everyone is that lucky. Also aiding to my nostalgia is that a friend of mine recently posted on her blog a mock letter to herself in Junior high, with the current knowledge that she's gained over the years. It made me think: What would I tell myself? This is what I came up with...



Dear Teenage Self:

Let me start out by telling you that you're doing just fine without my meddling advice. I used my instincts to get me to where I am today and you could do the same and be very satisfied with where you end up. My goal here is not to interrupt your current course or even to fully prevent the trips that you will inevitably make. My goal is just to, shall we say, make things a little bit easier? You're going to occasionally fall flat on your face: that's life. And I am sure even if you heed my advice there will still be some number of small things you will look back on when you're older and wish you could go back and change a bit. Remember that's a part of life too.


My first piece of advice: Give up on your hair. It's always going to be that limp and straight. Trust me, it will never look like the hair the girls have in the shampoo ads and you're completely wasting your time. Also, stop trying to grow it really long. It doesn't do that. Cut it just below the shoulders and be done with it. Stop trying to dye it a lighter shade. There will be instances where you will turn it green and, although this will result in the short-term novelty of being a red-head, it too is not worth the effort. You'll get more compliments when you start keeping it the natural color anyway.


You're right, I didn't come back in time to warn you about your hair. I should probably tell you a little bit about your relationships. Let me warn you of one major thing about yourself: you need quality time in your relationship to keep it healthy. This means the long distance thing you will try so hard at will never work out. Move on while everyone's feelings are still intact. If you don't heed my advice and try it the first time, don't attempt it the second time around. Although you'll eventually figure it out on your own, you'll suffer through a few months of complete heartbreak first. I know, I know, the second time you're pretty darn sure you're in love. When you're my age you won't even dispute that fact. But trust me, it will not work out and you're better off to leave the friendship untarnished. Another bit of relationship advice? Trust what your one friend is saying. You know who I'm talking about, the one who is telling you everything you don't want to hear. They're right about your insecurity. Don't worry, I promise that you will eventually find the person who will love you forever. In the meantime enjoy some opportunities to be single. I'm not saying you can't date, just when the relationship has reached its natural end, let it go. 


On the subject of boys, you'll know when you're ready. You know what I'm talking about. Avoid that awkward make-out session when you're in grade 11, it won't end well. I know that you know that it's not going to end up like that, but just trust me that it ends in embarrassment. I know that society puts some pressures on teenage girls and that it's sometimes hard to trust your instincts, but when you are older you are going to be really glad that you did. It'll be worth it to wait a while. Sometime in your late teens/early twenties someone close to you is going to make the comment about the cow and the milk. They don't think you hear it. Instead of pretending you didn't and allowing it to bother you for years to come, confront them about it. Let them know that first off, you are not a cow. Secondly, you're worth more than the milk.


Let me take a minute to let you know how proud I am that you never caved to peer pressure when it comes to smoking or drugs. The opportunity will continue to present itself over the years. Continue to just say no. Eventually they will stop asking and respect you for it. You will, however, eventually want to try alcohol. I'm OK with it, just make wise decisions when you do so. I know you will. Oh, but put the bottle away when you're done, it'll save your sister from getting in trouble. 


I know that you feel a lot of pressure to be the "smart one". Relax a little bit on this front. When you're older nobody really cares how smart you were in highschool. I'm not saying that you have to let your marks slide, just don't judge your self worth off of whether or not you have the highest mark in the class. Take some time to focus a little bit more on the other parts of school - your friendships, the experiences, and the little moments. You'll miss those memories the most. Your academic medals and trophies will be collecting dust somewhere in a corner of your office when you're older. Also, take a minute to consider if you really want to go right into university. Consider the option of taking time off to travel while you still have the nerve. Consider that what you really want to do may not involve wasting money and time learning about plants and fruit-flies.


You're going to start working out and getting fit. Stay with it, even when you get bored of it and discover that your metabolism keeps you thin anyway. Trust me, the metabolism slows down eventually and it's a lot harder to get back into shape when you've already let your fitness slide.

Embrace the small opportunities to expand your knowledge of the world. Go to Newfoundland with your dad. Visit your friend in Europe. Not seizing these opportunities will end up being the closest thing to regrets that you will have when you are older.


Take more pictures and allow yourself to be in more of them. Write in your journal when you're happy, not just when you are sad. Don't worry about your boobs, they'll grow in eventually. Stop chewing your nails. Accept that you're going to turn out much like your parents (it's not a bad thing!). 


I guess that's about it. Go out there and take on the world. You know what to do.


Love Always,
Your Future Self


PS: The winning numbers for the first Lotto-649 draw after you turn 19 will be 5-12-26-32-43-57. You're welcome.