I guess another side to this is that I like to control a situation to ensure that I feel "safe". My husband will be the first to tell you that I am a nervous passenger in the car because I worry that the driver is going to crash us into the car in front of us. I'm not a big fan of abrupt change because that leaves me open to the unknown, and the unknown scares me because I am not prepared for it. Yes, I am realizing more and more that I am a control freak who hates taking risks. So what do you do about it? You strap yourself onto a big burly man who is intent to jump out of a plane with you along for the ride. Of course.
I never expected to do it. I'm one of those people that has nightmares of falling. The kind of person that stays a long way away from the cliff's edge in case the earth crumbles away under my feet. So a little over a year ago, when some friends and my husband were talking about going skydiving, I laughed.The crazy fools. Then a discount coupon came out for tandem skydiving, and for some reason I let peer pressure take over and I bought one. Then came the actual booking of it (woah, wait, this is HAPPENING?) and one week after our wedding we were pulling into the airport. Now, for those of you who have never done it, allow me to explain what happens next. They get you to sign a waiver that extensively says that if/when you injure yourself or DIE you can't sue them, or have your family sue them. Cue the sweaty palms. Actually, at this point I was starting to freak out enough that I wrote my birthdate wrong on the sheet. So next I figured we'd be spending an hour or two in a classroom learning how NOT to die as we hurtle towards the earth. Um, not so much. It was like a two minute demo on how you should cross your arms as you go out, arch your back as you're falling, and lift your legs/slide on your butt as you land. TWO MINUTES. Then they have you in a jump suit and straps and you're out the door waiting for the speakers to announce you're to load into the plane. I'll admit, even at this point I was thinking maybe I would just go up in the plane and watch everyone else jump, then ride safely back down. After a few quick photos, next thing I know we are in the plane, and actually at this point I am feeling pretty calm. A plane ride, I've done this many times before! (And, actually, landing is the scariest part of plane rides for me!). So, my jump partner is crazy. Like the type of crazy that probably would do a jump naked, or wear one of those bat suits and fly next to the cliffs. Crazy. At this point I am just hoping that he's not also suicidal. Next thing I know he's strapping himself to my back. I'm double checking the straps and he tells me that if I keep fiddling with them it's my own fault if I fall off. I stop fiddling. I turn around and people are jumping out. Wait, this is HAPPENING?!? There go my friends. There goes my husband. Shit, we're moving towards the door. Well, he's walking/shuffling and I'm along for the ride. Next thing I know we're hanging out the door and counting down. At this point I couldn't turn back if I tried...
Now we're hurtling towards the earth and... I'm smiling! I'm also screaming all sorts of profanity, but I am acutely aware that I am smiling because my teeth are freezing. It was spectacular. I'm falling, and I am enjoying myself. Then I start to wonder if the chute should have opened yet, it feels like we've been falling for a while. WHERE'S THE CHUTE? After a couple of seconds of panic, I'm hauled up by the armpits (and crotch?) as the chute opens and we abruptly slow down. Phew. My jump partner gives me the reigns to the chute but I hand them back to him right away. For once in my life I don't want to be in control and am quite relieved to give it up. I feel so... alive. I think there are tears in my eyes. My jump partner wants to do spirals (he's crazy!) but I just want to float down and soak up the moment. Landing proves more difficult than I thought because I don't have a whole lot of flexibility in my legs, but I make it with no scuffs or bruises. The straps are undone and I run over and kiss my husband. There's a lot of yelling and arm waving as we reunite with our friends. It's over and the whole thing, from signing our lives away to this moment, took just over an hour.
And we feel exhilarated. Like we can take anything on in the world. Like there is no challenge that could EVER come our way that we couldn't overcome. And that is why I am recommending the experience to anyone out there. Because that feeling never really went away. I STILL feel like I can take on the world.To prove it to myself again, I held a huge bird while we were in the Dominican last April. It took like 4 days of convincing myself, and my hands were sweaty and my heart was pounding... But once you've jumped out of a plane holding a bird is really no big deal right? I'm looking for my next challenge, if anyone has any suggestions.
Ok, so maybe you don't actually need to jump out of a plane. The point is to challenge yourself with something that you thought you would NEVER do. Just do it. Once. To prove you can. The feeling that you get from it will be worth it.
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