Here's a question that has been nagging me lately: When did a little bit of controversy become so... controversial? Ok, so I realize that the question itself doesn't make the greatest amount of sense, but what I mean is that I wonder when we all stopped wanting to talk about the things that we all have different opinions of. Ok, so maybe it still doesn't make much sense. Allow me to try to clarify...
One thing I have always liked to do is to spar in a little bit of a debate. It doesn't really matter how much I actually know about the subject sometimes, chances are I have an opinion on it anyway, and I like to get a back-and-forth going with someone else. Actually, I think this is actually how I end up learning the most about something, because chances are this will bring up facts and opinions on the subject that I had no clue about before. Another thing I have noted about these kind of debates is that sometimes I actually agree with the opinion of the other person, but I will actually try to find the counterpoints from the other side, just to keep the debate going. Maybe some people find this as me being argumentative. I like to think it's a healthy way of keeping everyone's mind open to the possibilities. I've been thinking recently about why it is that I seem to be able to flip back and forth between one side or the other, and what I have come up with is that it seems like a lot of the time I actually fall somewhere in the middle.
Now, I feel like some people may fear the middle. It makes it sound like I am wishy-washy. Like I can't commit to an opinion or side. I would argue against that (of course!) with that it is actually a harder commitment to be in the middle than it is to choose an actual side. Choosing sides is easy. You'll find a large community of people on whichever side you choose, and chances are they will have very strong opinions to back you up. Being in the middle is in-itself an active choice. I choose to be in the middle because I want to leave myself open to hearing both sides of the discussion. Some examples:
Politics. I know, for some of you your eyes are glazing over right now. I'll try to keep it short. Politics fascinate me because it seems like everyone has, for the most part, a common goal, but very different ways to try to get there. You've got one party that's all about the business and one party that's all about the environment. Of course I'm voting for the one who is somewhere in the middle. I think choosing too strongly towards one side or the other is going to throw our country into trouble. I could write a whole blog on my political views, so I will leave it there.
Religion. I've got friends that are atheist, and I've got friends where their faith is who they are. For a long time now I have identified as being Agnostic (which is NOT the same as being Atheist, look it up!). I'm not going to argue that either side is wrong, and I am willing to hear both sides of the argument. In fact I think that where religion becomes a problem is when people fall TOO strongly on one side or another and lose sight of the fact that ultimately we're all just people, and what we are letting divide us is ultimately just our own opinions.
A further note on the religion issue: I have heard a lot of people say that religion is what starts a lot of wars. I don't really believe this is true. I think what actually starts wars, divides people, causes bullying, and destroys the world is one thing: Intolerance. You don't always have to agree with someone, or expect them to believe in everything you do, but you do need to understand that they have just as much right to see and do things their way as you do your own. It's when one side feels that the other side is so wrong that they need to be stopped that the whole thing falls apart. Maybe if they actually had an open discussion with someone from the other view they would actually see that they really have a common goal and in fact are not so different after all. Maybe a little bit of controversy could pay off?
Who decided that things need to be so black and white? In my opinion, what the world needs is a whole lot more shades of gray. It creates a much richer picture, don't you think?
Coming from a converted Black and White person, I completely agree. The world is filled with grays! It's a hard thing to admit though, once you have taken a Black & White stance because you are essentially admitting you were wrong- much easier in my opinion than admitting you are a hypocrite when you flip from black to white. (Been there so many times!)
ReplyDeleteAnd as to why people don't like to have controversial discussions? We've all had conversations with intolerant people, and it's damaging to a relationship. I think that people are cautious, for fear that the person they are striking up a conversation with is going to see it as black and black only, and that can be hard when you see it as gray.
Now that being said, even though I DO see certain parts of Religion as black and white, I have no problem talking about it with people that see it either as gray or opposing my opinion completely.