I have a beef with Facebook. Well, I guess my beef isn't so much with Facebook as it is with some of the people that are on it. Admittedly, these problem people are on my Facebook by my own choice, and actually on occasion they are even actually my friends, not just those Facebook acquaintances that get labelled as "Friends" by default. My problem, you see, is those people on my newsfeed that use the old "FML" statement. Some people may use it in jest from time to time, some may be serious, and 100% of the time it drives me crazy.
Here's the thing: Those of you on my Facebook do not have a completely terrible life. Yes, maybe you have had a terrible day, maybe even a terrible week. Some of you are going through some tough times. Some of you may feel pretty down and alone. Some of you are even struggling through health issues that make getting out of bed in the morning a physical challenge. Yes, some of you may not have the "perfect" life, or the life you have dreamed of, but really, your life is not one to throw away. I can promise you, no matter how crappy things may feel at that given time, you have things in your life that you're taking for granted. Things that other people are hoping or wishing for.
First off, you're on Facebook, therefore I am going to assume that you don't live in a third-world country. As a result I am going to assume that you likely live somewhere where you have access to modern things like electricity, running water, and shelter. If you can afford Internet access, I am going to assume that you have enough cash in your bank account to pay for basic necessities like food, heat and personal hygiene products (if you're struggling with these things, and have home Internet access, your priorities may be wrong). Chances are you have access to medical care when you need it, a basic education if you want it, and there's likely some sort of police force who is working every day to protect you.
Now, there are so many people in the world who do not have these things. We all know there ARE people who live in third-world countries. People whose stomachs may never feel full, people who are dying of diseases from unclean drinking water, people who live where "home" is a tiny mud structure and their bed is a pile of straw. The crazy thing? Some of these people are smiling more than those of us who, in their eyes, have it all. These people know the importance of family, know how very thankful they should be for every tiny blessing that comes their way in life.
Maybe we, the people of modern societies, are just too used to the "simple" luxuries we have. We forget how lucky we are just to be born into a more wealthy country. We get caught up in the image we have in our heads about what the ideal life would be. We get caught up in the dream to be wealthy, or famous, or to have everything we could ever want. We want to travel everywhere, see everything, do everything, have everything. We feel entitled to these things. We are disappointed if they don't come our way. We feel like everything that occurs in life should be good.
So what happens when something bad happens? When our girlfriend breaks up with us? When we get a speeding ticket? When we get fired from a job? We focus in on the fact that it does not fit into the image we have of our "perfect" life. We forget about all of the positive things we actually do have going on in our lives. Most of us will want to vent to our family and friends. That's normal! Those of us on Facebook will probably post a woeful status update in regards to the crappy day we've had. But I just can't stand the "FML" update.
When you post that "FML", to me you are writing off everything that exists in your life. Your family, your friends, everything in your life that is positive. You are making the statement that everything you have does not matter, is completely negated by the negative event you are focusing on. The problem is, those things you are writing off? Someone else would love to have them. Someone else is wishing, or praying, or dreaming for them. When I see you write "FML" I feel like, if you don't appreciate them, then maybe you don't deserve them. Yes, when I see that status, I get a little insulted, because clearly you don't appreciate me being part of your life either.
They say that people who dwell on the negative only attract more negativity. I do feel that this may be true. The thing is, I don't think it's some great big "secret" effect of the universe, but the fact that, when you dwell on the negative, those around you start to see you as a negative too. I mean, if you're not going to appreciate the people you have in your life, why should they appreciate you being a part of theirs? I know personally that I have been trying to eliminate the more negative people in my life. Those people who only dwell on the negative. And you know what? I have never felt happier. This is not to say that I never vent about negative experiences. They happen. But I'm making an attempt to balance out those complaining status updates with ones in which I am thankful for the good things in my life. Maybe we all need to start posting things like "Ugh, got a speeding ticket on my way home. At least I have a car. And a license. And someone who cares if I speed, get into an accident, and injure myself". Maybe we all just need to slow down and be a little more thankful. Maybe we all just need to say "F-FML".
Happy Thanksgiving Canada!
